Why does it affect you? What are people blaming you? Is it fair? Why does this get to you?
Fartiltre, it seems that throughout life I have copped constant flak and criticism from people in all walks of life. Maybe it is me who should stand up for myself better. Maybe I shouldn't worry about what is told to me so much. It affects me when I hear what I have done wrong or said, and I cannot remember those times. Examples I heard from the friend the other night: my boys are scared to do things with me as I constantly criticised them for doing it wrong. When? How? Why? I don't know or remember anything that resembled that, but this came from the boys speaking to the friend rather than the wife. The friend mentioned that the wife was really happy when I took off to be with my brother at the time of BD for three days, that I was a different person when I got back. Someone she liked, but then she said it lasted 24 hours only. Again, I sit here thinking I put in a big effort for weeks to be a better person, never saying anything wrong, helping out, talking. So what and why is it mentioned that I went back to being the same person. This is why it affects me so much. I understand fully when I see what I have done wrong and take ownership of it. What is a struggle is it seems so many things I have down wrong, cannot be explained or remembered. It would be okay if I was a drug or drinker but I am not. So I feel scared, confused and a lot of other emotions, when I cannot change something that I don't know is happening. Anyway, the focus is on: 48 hour rule attempting to purchase house/s off the wife better relationship with the boys following sandi's 40 points better no contact with wife at all no speaking to family about W or more importantly don't be in a conversation where they talk about the W GAL - I am doing the best I can with where I am and what I have going on a date - don't know yet - sometimes I think about it, but then I also know I will be the one to get caught out. what I really want, and I suppose most of us do, is to simply have that closeness to someone you care so much about. To touch them, to sit with them, to have someone to cuddle up to. Again, thanks again, for getting me so well. It helps a lot.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
