I try to be friendly most of the time around theEx, like I would with a friend, although I think sometimes I slip up and I act a bit relationship-y. About 6 months ago, she would seem tense if I acted that way around her, but now, she normally (not always) is warm to it unless she is feeling stressed out/closed off herself.
She used to say that I was very detached and short with her while we were together, so I'm trying my best to be emotionally present without being too needy. It feels like a very fine line to walk sometimes. I want to be okay, be a bit mysterious, etc. but I don't want to be too closed off where it reminds her of how I acted while we were together. So I'm trying to be warm/casual in our interactions, but don't go to her for big stuff (like you would in a relationship).
If I am feeling sad/irritable/angry (if I'm having intrusive thoughts about what she did), I try my best not to show it around her. I usually tell her I'm not feeling good, which is a reasonable explanation since I have stomach issues lol
GAL Activities:
-Writing. Set aside 1 hr a day for writing--whether it's freelance work, journal writing, fiction, etc.
-Exercise 2-3 times a week. Okay, I've been slacking on this one lately. Need to get back into it--it's just so darn hot outside!
-Hang out with friends. I don't have many friends here and I'm an introvert, so I don't need lots of social interaction to feel happy, but I'm trying to make more effort with those friends I have, whether it's going over to their house to hang out, seeing a movie, dinner, etc.
-Go back to school! This is actually my favorite upcoming GAL activity and I'm excited for it. I already have my B.A., but I'm returning to school in the fall to get a Certificate in Marketing, which is what I do for work anyway. I think it'll be a good way to pad out my resume a bit and hopefully make me look a bit more attractive to freelance clients, plus I really enjoy learning.
-Travel. I have two trips planned to visit family on my own coming up in the next few months.
Short-Term Goals:
-Don't make plans for us to do things together, let her be the one to make plans if she wants to, but also make plans on my own without considering her schedule.
-Don't say "I love you" first. I generally don't anymore, she usually says it first when we say goodbye, but I think I will continue to not initiate it.
-Refrain from giving advice, even when asked for it. Instead I will just validate whatever theEx is feeling and that's it. I feel like this will help me detach because then I won't get so irritated when she doesn't do anything about the problems in her life.
Journaling
I'm feeling a bit sad this week, but I've done a good job at keeping busy and distracting myself from it. Figuring out my school stuff is taking a lot of my energy and I feel good about how busy I'll be in the fall. Just found out one of my friends is pregnant and another two just announced they're getting married. I'm really happy for all of them, but I guess I also feel a bit sad because everyone's lives seem to be moving forward while I am stuck in limbo. I know that there are good things about limbo (like the fact that it means she hasn't made a firm decision yet), but sometimes I feel tired.
In a couple of weeks it's theEx's birthday, plus we're going to Comic Con together, and then Vegas for her birthday. Busy, busy, busy. It was just supposed to be the two of us going to Vegas and then visiting her sister, but one of her friends is coming to visit with her boyfriend and suddenly it turned into some group thing with two other couples. So that should be interesting.
Only some of our friends know we're not together anymore and even less know what actually happened. I'm not sure if the friends we're going to Vegas with know that we broke up? Although, even when we were together, we weren't particularly affectionate in public anyway, so I doubt anyone would notice the difference between us being together or not.
