Up in the air, LONG

[mtb1981]

I know how hrad it is, but you have got to detach. It is the only thing that will keep you sane through this whole process and give you any chance of turning things around. It siunds like your H knows that he is in control. He has control of your relationship, all the money, still has sex with you. He's calling the shots and he knows it. You need to detach and worry only about yourself. Only then will he see that he can't control everything. Let it start with your PMA. Whether or not he decides to actually divorce you is out of your hands, so why waste your sanity worrying about it. Accept it and move on. Once he sees that you aren't going to let it bother you anymore, he loses some control. As for the sexual relationship, if he can't even tell you he loves you, why should you have sex with him? Aren't you supposed to be i love with the person you have sex with. If he is going to throw a fit because he isn't getting any, that's ridiculous! It was his decision to end the relationship. I wiuld stay sleeping in the bed too. If he wants to sleep separately, let him be the one to move. Again, it was his choice. I would definitely talk to a lawyer to get some advice. I think the diy divorce is his idea to save money by screwing you over. He needs to take responsibility for his decision, and alimony will be part of that. Once he sees that he isn't in control of everything ,he might change his tune and be more willing to work with you on things. For now, you need to focus on yourself, let your actions show him that he is not in control of everything, and you do matter. You might be surprised how his attitude changes when he finds out that he's not calling all the shots anymore. He might get angry at first, but stick to your guns and show him that the changes are for real. It's time to take charge of your life!