Don't get baited into an argument with no potential for a positive outcome. Just do what you do and keep your cool. You have every right to your plans as she has to hers, and there is no duty on your part to try and anticipate what she wants.
I vote you keep your plans with the kids and be cordial and unemotional about it if she has a problem with that. That's HER problem.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
Don't engage in a fight (if it comes to that). She changed the plans w/o engaging you or asking for your help. You made plans w/girls to do something - keep them if at all possible.
Easy for me to say though - I struggle w/the same types of things at times.
Stay strong!
Me-48,W-51 M-22,T-24 S- 18,16,9 Feb-Jul '11 Away from Home, after initial B date Aug-Dec '11 Back at Home on couch Dec '11-now Same bedroom, room mates only Dec '14 W files initial D paperwork
My W came home from the gym with her GF at 10:30 pm (they went to a bar after the gym). She is working today on the 4th, but only until 1pm. She asked me if I could do some things in preparation. I told her that I had plans to take the girls out to a parade, and would do what I could when I got back.
I didn't offer any rationalization such as if it was important to her, then she would have not gone to the gym and she would have stayed home and prepared instead. She realizes this and didn't complain or say much. In fact, I think not acquiescing to her wishes is a positive. In the book Married Man's Sex LIfe, he talks about little requests that W's make to see if they have control over their husbands. In a way, this was one of them, and it was good not to drop what I had planned to do this.
I'll have to remember this. For so many months I've been treating her softly so as not to rock the boat, but now I think it is more important to start setting boundaries of what I'll do/not do and how I want to be treated in terms of favors.
I created a new thread in the Mid-Life Crisis forum because it seemed appropriate to my situation.
Thanks for all the advice that I've received here, and I hope you continue to provide it -- I have my ups and downs and this forum helps me get through the day sometimes.
