My WAW story

[JRG]

Troubling thoughts the last week or so. I've really started thinking that my situation is my opportunity to have the life that I originally thought I would...marrying, settling down, starting a family...the typical story. During our M my W realized that she didn't want a family. I thought that I became content with that. Now I've been thinking a lot otherwise. I'm having more and more thoughts that I really should move on and seek the life that I had origially dreamed. It scares me though. I can't yet fully imagine being apart from my W forever. I still love her and have feelings for her. I can't yet fully imagine being with someone else either. I feel like I'd be taking a risk of being alone for a long time if I pursued these thoughts while seaching/dating. Dating scares me.

I realized that being alone is a huge fear of mine. I'm not sure why though. I am very self-sufficient and have no problems making a living for myself. I can take care of myself just fine. I guess I really fear being lonely. I have this feeling that I NEED to be in a M or an R to not feel lonely. I wonder if that's why I want a family?? To help surround myself with poeple. Or is wanting a family coming from a normal human desire? This is tough...