We had our first MC session with a new therapist. We both connected well with him and I would like to think that we'll get a lot out of it.

MC, Do you trust (H)? I froze I'll take that as a NO.

MC, What would you do if he cheated again? I froze. You need to make sure he knows that is a boundary he can not cross again. You will leave him definitely.

MC, Are you resentful about the affair? What I responded has left me raw. As if I walked away from the session with an open wound.

Me, I'm resentful that even after I discovered the affair, he continued it. Even after OW was vindictive towards me, he continued it. Even after I discovered that he had traveled with her, he continued it. Even after my family knew he was continuing the affair, he continued it.

MC gave me and H some suggestions on how to work on the relationship...

triggers
1-be aware that it's a trigger,
2-refocus and
3-FIND H AND TOUCH HIM (LL-PT)!

Listen to each other for 15 minutes every day.

Date night 1-2 times a month.

Love Language (got it)
After the Affair (got it)
7 Principles of Marriage (need to get it)

Since the session, I've had ongoing triggers that are so much more difficult to shake off. This session has made me rethink reconciling. From what I've heard others say, I will get that feeling again throughout this process.

M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017