New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Just going to keep journalling - it seems to help.

Had a good day yesterday - told myself when I woke up that it was going to be a good day and I managed to keep it that way. Didn't think about H or money problems at all. Not so good today - have to arrange the appointment with the credit counsellor today and I just can't seem to shake that "down in the dumps" feeling. I keep putting off the phone call while trying to reinstate a PMA.

No plans for the weekend except curling up with a couple of books - DR and DB to be exact - and lots of quality time with S13. He'll see his dad on Sunday for a few hours but other than that I'll be keeping him occupied and hopefully cheerful. He wants to go swimming but we're going to have to go shopping for swimwear first as mine is worn out. He hates shopping but has said he'll come with me to make sure I find something - my son knows what I'm like when it comes to shopping. Fortunately I have a gift card for the local mall so I don't have to worry about cash for this shopping trip.

It doesn't help when work is really quiet - but that always happens in the summer. Too much time for mind to wander into darker areas. Desperately trying to "make work" just to keep busy and keep mind from wandering. Oh well, they say the Lord only gives us what we can handle - I just want to know why he thinks I can handle this much.