I am curious how this will work out for you. I am in a similiar situation, but do not have the courage, or feel firm enough in the direction to do what you are doing.
I do worry about your motives. Is this really what you feel is best for you and your kids, or is this a tactic to manipulate your W into coming back? I think any action that is focused on manipulating your W will have negative reprocussions long term.
Worrying that my motives are not right is one of the reasons I am holding off.
Being plan 'B' is awful. But maybe, swallowing your pride, and letting your W work through this on her own is what it will take for real reconcilitation? I am completely conflicted, so I offer this as a question rather than as advice. I really don't know.
No manipulation at all Rock. I believe I have let it gone on long enough and the cycle of EA must stop. I really don't want my kids near that sitch. And my kids are starting to get confuse of our demeanor either were breaking up or getting together or what. I'm sensing this at home.
If she files or leave tomorrow, there's nothing I can do about that and she's free to go But she seem to be choosing to stick around. I do feel also I'm to the point of actually filing myself and planning my future with me and my kids. Not at this moment because I have to get more info and I would like to see how it goes when d18 goes to college in aug.
My Ws latest proposal of refinancing really puts a risk on our finances and I will not agree with that.
You need to firm up Rock, not sure I read your sitch but in general you need to have courage. But let me tell you that you don't get that point overnight, you will feel it when you get to that point. Thanks for stopping.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
Hey newman stay strong. Youve been helpful in my sitch with support and also sharing yours.
I hope everything works out for you. The only thing different in our situations is that there isnt a long history of EA but my W seems more determined for D. Plus I dont know how you did it for 2 years ... ive only been at it for almost 3 months and I have days of giving up.
M: 43 W: 43 Married: 17 Together: 20 BD: 4/8/13 no legal or physical S as of yet 3 kids: S:14 D:13 D:9 W admitted EA: 5/5/13 Mediation started: 6/3/13 W says EA is done: 6/30/13 - still interested in D
Just wanted to chime in and give you my support. I am right there with you. Amazingly you nailed where I am- done. I will post on Sat/Sun nite to update my thread.
2 years is a long time and I've realized SO many signs that have made me want to live my life for now and move on.
Strength to you, newman!!!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Hi Newman, I hope that I have the strength that you have to survive for 2years. I will be have to strive it out for at least 3years of seperation before divorce can be made.
I haven't read your story but looking at your sig, you're young...there's no need to put up with non sense. Consider that. Life is short. I stayed on this long because I don't want to look back later and say to myself "what if". I am convinced I've done the best I could to save my M. It is moving in the direction of D but I'm ok and will adjust my life accordingly.
Take care,
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
