A little background, I've been spending some time with old co-workers as part of my GAL. One in particular, is a guy who coincidentally attended school with my H. Over the past couple of months we've been hanging out a lot. I've been very clear about my sitch w/ H. On a few occasions he has expressed that he loves me, mind you it was communicated through drunk texts, so I didn't make anything of it. Sober, he has expressed his attraction and admiration for me but understands my feelings are not reciprocated. I shared this info with my brother-in-law's wife, whom I'm very close with. Brother-in-law snooped through her phone and thinks I'm dating this guy.
Wed night, H comes by to pick up the kids. I leave for my friend's house to get dinner and go test drive some cars. Immediately after I pick him up, the thought of H seeing me with him crosses my mind. Right before I reach the on ramp to the freeway is my H, who sees me drive by with my friend in the car. My heart sank.
While I was out, I received a few texts from H asking when I'll be home. I respond and ask him if the kids are ok but did not tell him when I would be home because I truthfully didn't know. As I was returning, he texts me and says "So I saw you and the new guy..._____? =) He looks more like your type j/k. So when will you be done with your date." I responded once I got home with a short "I'm home."
H comes in with the kids and I act as if nothing happened. He begins to accuse me more and I respond with "I'm not going to dignify your accusations with a response because you didn't simply ask me if I was seeing someone. Besides, why do you care when you don't want me?" H eyes well up and his lips quiver and says "I do care."
We go back in forth disagreeing about a number of things from the reason for the separation, the nature of this friendship, the way he treated the kids and I leading up to the separation, the effort he puts into R w/ OW in comparison to the lack of effort he put into the M over the past 2 years...it was awful. Both of us had a lot to say.
It ended the conversation with "If OW makes you happy, I won't stand in your way. You didn't want me or this family."
He remorsefully says, "I've messed up so much, why would you want me back? How could you take me back after all I've done."
Today, I stopped by my mother-in-law's to drop off some goodies from Hawaii. She shares with me that she had brunch with H. He was distraught--he told them I was dating. He shared that he wanted to come home when he returned to Sacramento, but I didn't need him now. H said he wanted to try to work things out. She defended me and said he needs to drop OW first then work on R. He was broken over the mistakes he made and said that I couldn't possibly take him back.
What now?
Me 33 / H 30 T 10 / M 9 S 3 / D Infant Bomb 11.22.12 / Moved 11.29.12
