Your exactly right! He even said this, he also said he wants me, but doesn't want me to want him.
It not bizarre, it's EAs struggle w H becoming too much for her due to her own issues and knowing there is no reward in the end for her.
Like she said," even if I wanted him he's M, 4 kids, what would be left for him to provide me, it's your house, your money, your retirement and insurance, plus he vowed to never leave you, he L's you, always talks to all of us about your kids, but has to do his own thing....not w me he doesn't! " believe me he actually hates me, this is a hate friendship"! " you know I'm using him, he has to figure that out and hate it, hate my abuse before he's gonna stop coming around me"!
I am doing a much better job at not trying to figure my way into lala-land, I am so relieved at how good I feel after that! I have always kept my enemy very close!
H came home and crawled in bed, again I moved over, this time he followed me to the edge. His really just wanted to hold me! He whispered....this night job is boring like hell, it's killing me, I'm thinking of quitting...but I'm was looking at my hands, they look old I have old hands, who would hire someone like me. He referred himself to looking like Gandalf, from Lord of the Rings!
I stayed quiet and let him hold me, he called me his string....!
Thanks Nero, Linda and AJM for stopping by, you all gave me something to really think about and help me on my journey, at least to get thought today!
Happy fourth!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
