Questions without answers...will the hurt stop?

[AJM]

Is it really that bizarre? I mean, given everything else, is that phone call so bizarre? Or really, is it just unpleasant?

It's hard to say what he's told her. She may have seen herself as "fixing" him, as so many people do. When things went sideways, she may have figured she'd tell you about it not thinking of your side of things. Your view.

I remember one of my ex's EA's doing that. He was trying to fix her. He once told me that what he liked about her was that she reminded him of his wife before she went nuts (she decided after 15 years that she was actually gay and it was his fault )

I know this because I took the approach of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. He's the firs guy she once tried to get to beat me up (like in high school right?) I still see him from time to time around town. He's not the first person to congratulate me on her being gone from my life - he knew what was going on. But he didn't know that it was her trip that he was hearing. He knew something was wrong and tried to help, in his way. He also knew she was trying very hard to get close to a friend of his. That friend's wife put a stop to that definitively. But that friend is the one that introduced her to the OM. To the ex, they are all as*holes now. Intermediate friends in the scheme of things.

The point is, you don't know what H told that woman. You may never know. She may see herself as trying to help, you see her as an EA, and he sees her as a friend and possibly more. And that's just one possibility. You'll torture yourself into a heap of goo trying to figure it all out. Better to not.

Hope you're feeling better and I hope you have a great Fourth!

Peace,
AJ