So sorry you are going through all of this horror. It is so distressing for the children.
It isn't any help to know that he is angry because he is conflicted, ashamed, and frightened. We do not get angry with people that we do not care about
The OW are always skanky, and can't wait to get their nasty hands on any man stupid enough to get involved with them. It will not end well.
I also recognise your despair, having been there. Please take care of yourself, and your boys, Together you will get through, though it will be very very hard. Hugs
