B, I am so sorry for the turmoil your family is in. Please talk to your attorney as soon as possible and document everything. Both of you have so much fear and pain over this situation and it's fueling anger on both sides. Please take a few days to calm down. If possible try to wait 24-48 hours before you respond to your H about anything. He will keep pressing you, but you need time to collect yourself.
I understand how devasting this is. It seems like it will never get better. It just keeps escalating. Please try to create some distance. B, you must do this for your sanity. If possible, let your attorney handle the communication with your H. Having some space to work on healing and coming to terms with your loss might help to diffuse things between you and your H.
This is so hard. I had nights of fights on the phone, hysterical crying in my closet and moments of absolute hopelessness. At my lowest points my H poked at me with his hateful spew, blaming me for everything including the boys' grief. I didn't think I would ever recover. It's been slow, but I'm getting there. B, seek help if you need to. Please don't allow yourself to suffer. Talk with your doctor, attorney, family, friends. Let them know that you need help to get through this. Find the number for a crisis hotline and use it when you can't reach friends or family. B, I recognize the feelings of total despair and I am worried about you. Please organize a team of people who will see you through this.
