Like many here, I have my ups and downs. These two days I've been down. I feel that in some ways DB has been great and turned around my sitch from a W about to walk away to a W that is staying. But she is still missing that loving feeling. Moreover, her actions to lead the single life seem to be increasing in some ways.
On Monday, I asked my W if she was taking July 4th off. She said no, she was going to work. On Tuesday, W told me that on Thursday (July 4th) she had to drive to store 2 hrs away to get handles from Ikea for workers to finish our kitchen (its almost done!). On Wed morning, she asked, "what are we doing July 4th?" while leaving for work. I said, I thought we could go to an open-air concert at 7pm. She said, "alone?" Yes I said.
My W no longer wants to do "family" things alone. She always wants to invite other people now.
Wed at work, I get an email that she is inviting people to our house for a BBQ. Later in the day, I get a text "inviting me to my house" -- I assume the text was sent by accident to me, as well as many other people. At 4pm, she calls me, but I didn't answer. She called my cell, office, and home looking for me. She left a message that she was going to Costco to buy stuff for the BBQ.
Later at 5:30 I texted her that I was running late. I then decided that to just not answer her is playing games. So I texted her again if she bought beer, and that I could pick it up on my way home. She texted back that she bought 3 cases. I'm not sure who she invited but that's a lot.
I get home, and she is gone to the gym.
I had plans for July 4th to take my girls to the parade in the morning. I was thinking that I should still do that. I know she is going to want me to help prepare for the BBQ. My reasoning is that she didn't cancel her gym plans to get ready, why should I cancel my plans?
I expect her to get mad about this. And pointing out that she initially told me she was working, that she didn't cancel her gym plans, etc. is, even if logical, not going to make it any different.
Any suggestions? Should I suck it up and help? Should I carry on? My inclination is to go to the parade to set a sort of boundary that her last minute plans are not my problem. However, DB says not to pick a fight or argue.
