I do feel good about helping her. I do feel good about being kind to her. It's such a big part of who I am.
What I don't like is continuing to hurt for her. I don't like emotional turmoil that's in my heart...
... and I'm doing my best to not blame her for what is happening within me. I am doing my best to say that I am fearful, that I don't trust her... and that I'm scared that after two years... I STILL have feelings for her.
And deal with all of that... and sit in it... and not "punish" her in some sort of way.
It's pretty crazy when I think about it. This woman has done extremely painful things to me... and here I am.. still double checking my heart to make sure I am doing the loving thing.
It gets even more complicated... with the fact that I am kinda interested in someone else. Granted that this woman is just a friend now.. but there is a connection there.. and one worth exploring for me.
That is scary too.
Good time folks.. Good times. My favorite part is when I check my phone and see txts from both ladies.
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
