Not confused...moving towards acceptance

[BRNR]

Ugh. Thanks Portia! I just had a nice little text tiff with my H.

I kindly asked my H via text for my sons pool cues because we are going to play pool this weekend. His response was..."sure can. Can I have a copy of the tax returns tonight." I responded "No". Then he said "Well then when?". My response " When can I have the money you owe me?" Well that set it off. His response was all woe is me, I have no money. I responded "I am not sure why the tax returns are your priority when the kids needs are unmet and your financial obligations haven't been taken care of for over a month". He responded more about his entitlement, and how I am withholding things like the keys to the house and the tax returns, etc, etc. Explained that he has no money because of changes at his job and his pay structure, etc, etc and how I don't care. How him getting the tax return will enable him to give me the money he owes (sounds fishy to me), and oh, he doesn't know what I mean by the kids needs being unmet.

All I could think was "Really?" The kids come with financial needs and emotional needs and clearly he doesn't see that. I didn't respond.

Snodderly, you were right. He could give two sh!ts. But I had that conversation about moneyand the kids pent up inside me that it just spilled over. Not to mention that you were right about him asking for things more and more. I am firmly planting myself in the decision to not give him the tax returns (or anything else for that matter other than a bill).

I can't go on like this...this is not the life I want.

I am releasing the anger over this exchange here rather than pursue it further with H. It does do me no good. And I get more and more tired of this crap.

How does one turn things around?