H: I realize where we are now is not R or M material...Given our history, we have always been way up and way down. Coming back with what I've done and what I personally deal with is not an option...So filing for divorce seems like an obvious step, but I'm more concerned about being a father than going through a divorce on my priority list. JPL you're amazing but I don't deserve you. You deserve someone who is honest and faithful and forthright with their feelings. I've lost my opportunity to give you that and I realize that you deserve something much better than me. I want the best for you...and I realize it's not me.
JPL: You have no right to say what is best for me or say what I want or should have. I want to understand something you said. Can you please explain, "Coming back home from what I've done and personally deal with is not an option"?
H: I've just done so much wrong. I'm so sorry and guilty. I've been hurt and I dealt with it in the worst way which was being unfaithful. Especially after we separated. OW is the most faithful I've been in 5 months.
The above exchange leaves me confused. Somehow my actions are communicating that returning is not an option. I'm trying not to mind read. Is this an instance H is speaking in absolute negatives--believe nothing they say and 50% of what they do? What should my approach be now?
Me 33 / H 30 T 10 / M 9 S 3 / D Infant Bomb 11.22.12 / Moved 11.29.12
