Magic, I can see where you could come across as debating or getting defensive when you have conversations w/him and others. Why not try a different tactic? When you need clarification on something repeat what he's said back to him and ask him if you have understood him correctly? Sometimes, when the speaker hears the sentence repeated back to them, they come to realize they didn't speak clearly enough.
Your SO could very well feel like you are trying to debate things w/him when you actually aren't. Do you have problems getting your point across w/your parents, friends, daughter or customers? Or is it just w/him? Are you nervous around him and get defensive when he responds back to your questions?
Let me ask this question, how does your h react around women customers? Does he act differently, i.e., more patient, a good listener, explains things correctly?
No more deliberate pocket calling. Leave the situation in God's hands. Games can't be played when you are dealing with emotions and more, importantly, when you have to work w/him.
Yes, you are coming along, but you will get stronger as you continue to move forward. Learn to listen more intently to what he's saying and repeat it back to him for clarification. That will alleviate the attitude he may be sensing, as well as looking like you are debating w/him. The more you try to get your point across, the more defensive you may appear to him. Eventually, he tunes you out. Am I right about that?
You may want to get a book on communication skills that will help you not only in the workplace, but also with all walks of life. Here's an excellent book that I highly recommend that you read because it is well worth the time and energy to do so: "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" by George K Simon, PhD. Excellent reading material!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
