So UW, are you a Virgo then? We are awesome and virtuous (well, at least most of the time lol!)
The good news is... Get out your party dress and dancing shoes, FY is taking us out for our birthday - holla!
You are right FY, he doesn't have to capacity right now to care about my feelings - at least not care about them more than his own. It's on him if he stays in this emotional place or not.
And I don't like for my H to be in pain. More like I want him to feel the consequences of his hurtful actions.
UW, I swear this morning I was thinking about your puddle analogy. It popped into my mind. I think he may just be backing up to take that big jump...
I think the guilt is out in full force. Could hear him up last night. He comes upstairs around 1:00 am. I ask him if everything is alright, and he says yes, he just can't sleep and is getting one of his sleeping pills. That's really late to be taking a sleeping pill, the itchiness must have been horrendous.
Has had little eye contact with me today. Washed AND folded all of his laundry from the beach. Maybe this guilt thing isn't so bad after all lol!
I plan on giving him plenty of space, it's almost second nature by now. The pressure just keeps building and building - what will be the thing that will finally bring everything to a boiling point?
Now as far as what we're eating and drinking, that's easy. Whatever we damn well please! How about daiquiris with chips & salsa and of course some brownies. Just sayin
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
I honestly think that by the boys not running to him and hugging him, that In his mental mind that justifies his reasoning for everything "they don't need me or get excited to see me....but Hobag does". Just a thought.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
I'm sorry about the "homecoming", it sVcks...when we returned from our trip, W wasn't very "enthused" (I guess that's the right word), I miss her old reactions, was sooo nice to be reunited for everyone ...but I really think she isn't, as you said, in "that" place yet. Maybe she and your H are just too occupied with trying to figure themselves out, and of course any missing ego kibbles seem to bring on the pout...
I hope the "boiling point" gets here sooner rather than later...until then you know the drill...
Virgo, huh? Makes sense.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Hey T, I am actually a Leo. Though I dont have a lot of the traits of a true one.
Yay! FY is taking us out! So cool! What a guy! Oh man, how much fun would that be?
Bucket list stuff right there. And not impossible. There are those of us who have gotten together and it's been a blast.
And T, your h is a mess right now. Best to get out of the way of what's coming. You dont want to spoil your party dress.
I never asked my xh what eventually brought about the demise of his affair. Hmmm, maybe I will someday. LOL!
From what he said, he just realized who she was and that it wasnt going to make it long term. Not sure what made the light bulb go off.
I disagree with Caigy. I think the lack of enthusiasm when coming home has the opposite affect. I think he's saying to himself, man, what the heck am I doing to my family - I am losing them.
T, I think it is going to get a little bit more tense with him. He is going to be a bit angry and sullen.
No worries though. We are going to be drinking, laughing and eating.
Hey T, I am actually a Leo. Though I dont have a lot of the traits of a true one.
Well thank the Lord for that, My xh was a real Leo. man, what an ego!!
I agree about the homecoming - it is like dog training. The MLC mind can make anything of anything. If they had been pleased it would arguably simply have validated what he did . . . . Dealing with MLC is not about making them feel good about their terrible life choices (nor is it about punishing them) But about dealing fairly, and getting to the point where they realise (or not) that actions have consequences - and they get to choose.
Trouble is, if yo have to tell someone that they likely don't get it anyway.
Bea and uR, I hate to spill the beans, but I'm a true Leo, or so I've been told. LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh yes T, Virgo. Insert your best virgin joke here
I think it's important for the boiling point to get here without me turning up the heat, you know? Let FT yank on that leash she has him on. I'll be busy actually having a life.
Caigy, I thought about that same thing too. He has had issues in the past with the boys being closer to me. He once told me in an argument that was after bomb "I'm tired of playing second fiddle to you with the boys!"
I wanted to yell back at him, "Then maybe stop ignoring them so you can continually text on your damn phone!", but I refrained.
No matter what the boy's reaction would have been when he came home, the factor of his internal guilt was going to override everything anyway.
So you are right, Bea. He has to start to realize all the repercussions of his actions. Not an easy thing to do, I would imagine.
So UW... I should anticipate him to be tense, angry, and sullen? Hey, let the good times roll at my house! Lol!!!
He seemingly couldn't get enough of me and the boys before he left. Now, it seems to be difficult for him to be around us.
It does help that I understand it is not about us - not about anything we have said or done- but about his own internal unrest.
I politely invited him to go with us to the community events today, he declined. I had a feeling he would. I think this may be best today for all parties involved. There is really no reason for the boys and I to stick around here this evening and be part of the MopeFest.
And me and you... I see it now... Two green-eyed Italian gals swapping MLC and life stories as we talk with our hands the whole time. Look out people lol! Can't wait!
Off for some fun with the boys - will check in with you fine people later
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
