own a buz - pt 12 ... taking him off the pedestal

[makingmagic]

Snodderly... I agree, we are probably both tired of justifying our positions. But, the reality is... WE ARE PARTNERS! At this time, he will agree to that. But, he does sit in the best seat, doesn't he? I guess the only way to stand up to a bully is to call his bluff.

Our convos other than this debate I believe are fine, I think. We are able to get the jobs done without hitch. Lately he has been appreciating me and polite. EVen calling back to say sorry, as he felt he hung up without saying goodbye.

I really wish I could understand where my attitude has come out in these messages. I do understand how Bond feels that I come across to him as debating. But, in all honesty its because the facts are not always present/repeated in my comments. I am not intending to come across as defensive, but sometimes he gets his facts mixed up, so I feel the need to clarify. Maybe this is part of a pit-bull attitude. Dunno. But, if I don't clarify my point, isn't the advice given not accurate then?

My real problem is that I have a difficult time explaining my point. I try many different angles to feel that I have been understood. I feel misunderstood. If I ever get my point across, the other person is tired of hearing me and feels they know what I wanted to say. They are usually wrong. They are frustrated and make their own judgement.

As for getting advice on this forum. I take it... I do. I feel I have taken and done all advice given on here, with the exception of the lawyer. Which, I will do. I am DB'ing to the best I can. Always room for improvement(pocket dial sitch), I have detached ALOT (but still room for more), I am GAL, I have been dropping the rope, I am dim and give as much space as possible. I do not pursue or give ILU's to the h.

Yesterday, I purchased 4 books on Amazon that I have already read. No more "borrowing" from the library. I need these: The Solo Partner, Co-Dependent No more, The Divorce Remedy, and Getting Back Together: how to reconcile with your partner. I figure I need to keep re-reading and re-reading them. They have provided me with ALOT of information. Especially Co-D and The Solo Partner.

I appreciate and welcome all comments and advice. As Wonka said yesterday, I am coming along. I really feel this. I am stronger. Much stronger than the girl who believed lip service each time she R talked with h. Won't make that mistake EVER again!