Questions without answers...will the hurt stop?

[albamarie]

So I am detached, really, a little scary detached only because I fear those backslide moments. I am happy and feel so free as his cell rings and I look at him not caring. He tries to explain that the EA sitch has really calmed down and he's here, home, not there w her, but here working for us and on the house.

I had nothing to say to him! I have no words for his justifications, nor do I care to go down that ugly dark road again of hearing him explain his dark path.

I look at him and realize I don't know this man from a stranger, nor would I talk to him today if we met.

I hope to continue moving forward! I am no longer a fraud or pretending to validate him.

I can see him trying to put me back on that hamster wheel of recycling. He's nice, and asking about my dinner needs, trying to hold me during sleep, hoping to put me back into that lull of comfort, getting my basic needs met so I will be content and oblivious.

He liked the W that validated and silently let him be. Now, he has ''silently let him be'', but he's been made well aware of my boundaries, and that I have moved forward. He is struggling w how forward is he going to let me go.

So I guess it's on him! But, I'm not looking back or waiting, not sure if I'm even wanting. Stand strong for my M, well I think I still am, it's just taking a different form.

HB wrote: L is not enough, commitment is the glue that holds the R when L is gone, out of that deep commitment is a deeper strength that comes from well within, God replenishes this daily!

I think my commitment needs to take different forms as we travel down this MLC road, do what works and what makes me be able to move forward for me!