Falling Down 100....Getting Up 101

[Portia]

Everyone, thank you so very much for coming to my rescue after my blue day!

It doesn’t mean that your SO doesn’t want contact with you because he didn’t reply to your text. You don’t know what is going on in his head. You can always send him something when you feel like it, just don’t have any expectations.

The hardest part will be for you to not have expectations of a response from him. He will remain distant at this stage. It's part of the script.

You know I'm in favor of periodic attempts at contact. But only if you can get detached enough, get your expectations so low, that this sort of thing won't hurt.

I see a theme!

Therein lies my problem. I sent out a message and I expected that it would be returned. Because someone who cares about me would return it, even just to acknowledge it. I am not sure I will ever totally get rid of the expectations completely. The large ones are gone but the small ones, like a reply or any acknowledgement, are going to be difficult.

Portia...what was said in the message? Can I ask?

MM (like the name change!), it was simply a message which acknowledged an accomplishment of his, a year later. No focus on "us"; no mention of something we did together.

You're doing the best you can for your relationship right now, and I'm proud of you for that.

Please don't blame yourself for loving him.

Awww, shucks, FY and Linda. Thank you. I didn't feel proud of me, I felt dumb. In the end though, whatever happens, I will be able to say that I tried for us - even trying to keep the friendship alive - but he chose not to do so.

Nero, you make me smile.

my h also said that- his brain does not go further than the next 15 minutes? wtf? nice life huh?

Yes, nice life. Like a fish in the bowl who can't remember one end of the tank to the other and so it is always new scenery for them! When this situation isn't giving me heart palpitations, it makes me laugh with the absurdity of it all!

I may not have been a great partner but I was a damn excellent Best Friend. And he still shot that away!

So, as Bea once said, I am in a strategic retreat. Taking time for me and enjoying my summer. No standing near the hot stove for me! Much nicer in the shade; I hear TVS is blending cocktails!