I jokingly said, "well you could have taken me along. I would have danced with you".
Originally Posted By: suckerpunch
"I am not sure why, but your bikini pic just showed up on my facebook. You look drop dead gorgous. Hope you are having a great time".
These are both full-blown pursuit. They are also sending your W mixed signals, because you're waffling between cold/ indifferent and chasing her down the street. You need to be between those- friendly neighbor. It's OK to tell her she looks nice if she's wearing a new dress. It's not OK to tell her she looks hot in a bikini. One is friendly neighbor and the other is drooling pursuer, LOL!
I had blocked W on FB for a while for my sanity. Then one time I checked in on her and her recent post was checking in w OM at a restaurant. I unfriended her. When she noticed, she asked why and I just told her it was unhealthy for me to check in on her and it wasn't meant to send a message.
4th of July was eventful. I had lots of friends and family come out to enjoy the weekend, more BBQing and campfires than one man should ever have in 4 short days!
Daughter had a BLAST! She played from sun up till well past dark every single day. That little girl is full speed 24/7. Oh, how I dread the teen years with her
A little light contact with wife during the last week, nothing worth mentioning tho. We are now friendly with each other, but share very little other than idol chit chat prior to speaking with Daughter on the phone. Wife went to a concert, left daughter with me. She went to vegas, left daughter with me. She did return on the 4th of July, but ended up staying at OM's house for the remainder of the weekend. Tons of pictures of them together on his facebook, none on hers. So, I am suspecting she isn't letting others, outside of her new group of friends, know that she is dating this man. I've seen his pictures and can get a snapshot of his life. She should be embarrassed...kind of a loser. She doesn't even remotely appear to fit in with the group either. W is a total where's Waldo in all the pictures. It's strange. Something else I find strange is, it's been 10 days since she has seen daughter. She did however phone her about every other day to chat for a couple min, sometimes seconds.....not in my wildest imagination would I have thought she would be okay with that. Saddens me to no end. My heart breaks for daughter.
I invited wife out on Saturday for a campfire with friends and family. I figured she would want to attend, if for no other reason, to see daughter. But, she declined by saying, I figured it would be easier on everyone if I was gone. I simply said we all missed seeing her face, and I hope she enjoys her weekend. The conversation ended.
Wife picks daughter up today for her week visit. I will definitely be sad when she leaves.
Daughter had a BLAST! She played from sun up till well past dark every single day. That little girl is full speed 24/7. Oh, how I dread the teen years with her
My daughter was a pistol when she was growing up. I was really dreading her teen years as well. Now she's 16 and is just amazing, she has a vibrant personality that really draws people in and she is a very mature, responsible young lady. With no prodding from W or me she went out and got a job and has been working hard all summer. I can see now that all of the characteristics that made me think she was going to be a wild teen were instead indications of what a strong, independent, hard-working, make-it-happen person she was going to grow up to be! So embrace your D's personality, don't try to slow her down
Really struggling today about daughter being placed in second position. As you know, wife just got back after being gone for 10 full days. The only contact she had with daughter were a few short phone calls. So, yesterday W gets to have daughter at 3:00pm. They go to the beach, have a picnic, fun stuff and some cute pictures. Wife even texted me a couple pics and added "daughter is such a funny sweet little girl. We are doing a good job with her".
I log on to facebook around 10:00pm and wife is already out at the nightclub with OM. He is posting pics CONSTANTLY on his facebook so it is very easy to get a play by play of her activity. The thing that bothers me is, daughter is AGAIN left behind with a baby sitter so wife can go out and party with her new found friends and OM. I know it is not in daughters best interest to be left with a sitter and to be constantly unsure of where she is even going to sleep that night. It just saddens me to no end.
At this point, and maybe some of you can tell me if it would be worthwhile, I am collecting dates and pictures of wife when she is out drinking and partying while daughter is left at home with a baby sitter. Not sure if that will mean anything in court when the time comes...would like some input on this. I don't want daughter to have a part time mom who doesn't even do her "part time" parenting. I fully intend to fight for legal custody when the time comes.
Having seen other people in this situation (spouse with OP)... All I am going to tell you is that you might come across as a vengeful spiteful man in court. My friend went through this with her husband and the judge said that as long as the child's welfare was not threatened that there is nothing she could do.
I don't think I can have an opinion on the parenting part because I have no children of my own. I have a SD that I love dearly but she never lived with us so it is no where near the same thing.
From a personal perspective, you come across as angry and jealous to me. I get the feeling that if you were not snooping around FB, none of this would be an issue. QUIT LOOKING AT FACEBOOK! Why do you keep wounding yourself? Seriously.
You should fight for equal custody. That is your duty as a a father. However, if you use your daughter as a weapon in your D, I would almost guarantee that you will not be happy you opened up that can of worms. Ask my friend... Judges take dim views of that stuff.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
I wouldn't use my daughter as a weapon! I am not jealous at all, just sad that daughter is being left behind so much. As far as equal custody, there really isn't an "equal" custody in my state. You can have 50/50 parenting plan, but one party is granted legal custody. That is all that I would fight for. I want a 50/50 parenting plan and nothing else. I think wife feels the same way.
I was dealt a hard blow this afternoon, that I wasn't expecting. My family had, for lack of a better word, an "intervention" with me today. I have known for a very long time that my sisters and my brother want my Wife GONE. I feel my Mom leans that way as well. They want her out of our business, out of their faces, away from our customers eyes. Today was a straw that broke the camels back. My mother in law came to babysit daugther while wife was at work. She also brought along my sister in law and her child. They spent the day by the pool, playing in the park, that sort of thing. Appartently at some point they did a little gossiping at pool side with some of our customers. they protrayed my family in poor light, talked a little sh!t basically. Word got back, and it absolutely drove my brother crazy. He is very upset that the business is paying to support my wife, and in turn she is bringing in family and guests to use our facilities, and this is how they show appreciation. I totally understand his concern. I did however ask him and my sisters to understand my position, but they are dead set on asking my wife to move out very soon. They have had enough. This situation has been going on for 8 months and any form of positive movement forward in our relationship has never been present. It was a very emotional conversation, and one that I really did not need at this time. I am devastated today, very upset. I pleaded for their support, but they are putting the business aspect in front of my concerns and wishes.
I do see both sides. For me, it makes sense to keep wife close by. It is saving me financially, as well as allowing me more access to my daughter. It also enables DBing a little better, as my wife isn't looking at me like a tyrant who put her out on the streets. On the flip side,I see my families perspective. Here is this woman who left their sibling, yet reaps all the benefits of being supported in a nice accomdation, WHILE she proceeds to party it up and engage with OM. Of course they want her out. they probably want to set her on fire!
So, here I am in complete turmoil as to what I should do. I am just at my wits end....any thoughts?.....
