WAW has a male confidant, but denies sexual relationship.
Last time we where in the same situation, it was a very clear starting point - "I found someone else/don't love you/etc." This time it's "I need some time away, I'm staying at the new house for a couple of weeks."
I'm trying very hard to go dark and not contact her right now because that's what has worked best, both the last time we were in this situation and now. When I've messed up, I get very angry replies, often off-topic or misconstruing my intentions.
Scenarios:
Let's say she contacts me and says the dreaded D-Word and confirms an affair. How can I apply DB principles to my response? I can't appear needy/clingy/begging/etc. Referring back to the last time she left for someone else would be a disaster at this point for sure. But I would certainly want to state why/how I think we can salvage this M.
Or, she says I was wrong, and untrusting, and she's just friends with the OM. I also have a female friend I've turned to via phone/email etc. and she knows this. She's in another state, so the situations is different, but maybe from W's point of view it's equivalent. I can see this being an easier scenario to react to, but would still like advice on how you'd handle it.
One more thing - affair or not, if we get back on track, this is a tricky thing. The OM is someone we hired to work on the house, who was recommended by our realtor. This has poisoned my feelings about the realtor (not fair, and I've kept these feelings to myself)and the contractor. But... we'll be moving into the house that he's painted and restored the floors in. I can foresee a constant reminder every time I look around the house. How can I ask her to end this friendship? I won't be able to be friends with this man, or work with him again in the future, either way. I have no answers here, and maybe that's best deferred for if/when we're working on healing the M. But I would LOVE to hear any advice!
