so happy to hear your "voice" today. you made me laugh twice right out loud - always a good way to start the day.
i like the sir stupido- AND I REALLY LIKe the mental picture of him squeezing down the side of the bed -
i bet my h would notice and have hurt feelings and as i say it - i am amazed he even feels entitled to feelings when no one else in the world has feelings worth acknowledgement. talk about his own world there.
i think alot of his dopey selfish mother- wonder what she feels to have not had her eldest son talk to her for 6 yrs or so??? but then - i wonder what mother ever COULD leave her 12 yr old kid with the nazi dad she was divorcing (because he was such a nazi) and just do it , without a fight, without looking back- crime & punishment huh???
oh man- you're doing great and yay. gives me hope here.
i want to achieve that place you are at - total detachment. i was okay yesterday all day- fell off the wagon about 9 pm watching tv alone- in tv room (i never do it really- just came in from walking wet as heck- downpour caught usa but it felt really good actually- was very humid &hot & we both enjoyed the soak).
anyway- just watching a british pbs mystery/kinda show- and blamp - GOT A crying jag- wow- where did that come from?
just feeling sorry for self- feeling like this will go on forever - ran up to attic and got down two white vintage chenile type bedspreads and covered the couch where he usually (lives) sits - it's good, doesn't shift at all because cushions covered separately from couch- looks different- maybe i'll not associate it with being "his room" & place to be.
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See they are really not in tune w us or what we are doing, or not doing! They are gone, all about themselves and not that bright anymore.
i know you are rite- for the record - this business of two houses is bad. it was a huge mistake to allow it to get this way - my house your house. i keep thinking of all of us wondering how the heck our h's can just not remember how much they loved their lives with us. idk - sad thought-run away nero...
OH MAN- i know, i just can't get alllllllll the way passed it. your question - will the pain stop- i don't think so. i still feel this tweak of pain - i still want a "fix" - i'm having alot of sympathy for addicts everywhere. every person who needs to lose more than 30lb has my total sympathy- it's hard - or kick alcohol - or drugs - or love or dependence- i'm thinkin we allllll have something to kick.
i like bea's fall 53 - get up 54. my matra for today.
fell last nite- up & moving forward today- ta da
xxo and thanks for note- and you're inspiring me with your detachment & HUMOUR. I'M GOING TO THINK OF HIM SQUEEZING DOWN THE WALL ALOT ! v. good mental image - and not knowing- that's the funniest part. oh man dawn- wouldja ever have thunk you'd be here- doing this? accomplishing what you have????
you made my pma good today-
we can do this-
xxoo ((( )))) have a wonderful birthday celebration- i'm gonna celebrate 4th somehow & enjoy it if it kills us all.
fireworks tonite - gonna walk over with neighbors i walk with. should be okay
need to go change the endtable the couch faces also- i think change "art" on wall too. oh well-
HEY- last nite had glass or rose' with some oj in it and sliced strawberries - very darn good- could make that a habit if i wasn't sooooo uptight about drinking & alcoholics i have known & loved.
