abbey, sorry you are going through this.

but at least, one way or the other, you will not have to be in doubt. I think the doubt, and gas-lighting, has been the thing that upset you the most, even more than the existence of OW.

I guess you need to decide, what do you feel is best *for you* at this stage. what is your best-case scenario? and if that turns out to be not possible, what is your second-best-case scenario?

it may or may not be what other people think you "should" do. you need to decide what your own goals are - what is best *for you*.

and then use what you learn from the atty and PI to work at obtaining either the best-case or second-best-case scenario.

first define your goals; then map out how to get there.

and if you need to vent, you have friends here.

Me: 60 H: 63
married 40, together 42
3 grown kids