I'm still here. Internalizing lately. I think H is more MLC and on his own path, the info I read on the MLC side is very insightful. I need time to update things.
H texted about plans for 4th of July today. I actually didn't think we'd hear from him about the 4th and dds & I were still trying to decide what to do. I replied that we were thinking of going to same town as always & asked if he was working (he usually does on 4th of july). H said no, not working & to let him know if we were going. that's him asking to join us for holiday? I answered ok, we were thinking of maybe going to freedom fair in another city as well. He answers 'whichever one is fine with me'.
okay so he does want to spend the 4th with family. Didn't expect I'd have to get the kids on board though. They want to do their own thing and, as d18 puts it, she's resentful she always has to 'make time for' her dad. I just validate and encourage her to voice her feelings with H.
Opinions? Is it more important, for the sake of family (and maybe future family) to be there if H reaches out & spend the day together? Or better to let kids do what they want & live in reality, but risk losing family connection?
It's been a very slow and painful road to H reconnecting with dds. For his sake, I don't want to turn him away for a lonely holiday. My db coach says I'm supposed to show H image of family that could be restored & healed. But it seems I have to force dds to play house... maybe it's advice for families with younger kids.
