wife hardends heart-2

[planet]

The W invited me out for drinks with her 'not quite OM' and she had invited him for a swim with my kids for the weekend. I was taken aback because I have made myself clear that she have to discuss any decisions with me regarding the kids beforehand. Besides as a father, I would hoped my kids will developed sweet memories of any activity with me as i am available too.

So later that night, I expressed those feelings gently. She became defensive and brought up all past and new grudges against me and my family.

Few things I could draw from that horror:
1) W noticed my 180s. in fact her family noticed my 180s. I wasn't even aware of the small things i did got noticed. All i did was to be a little 'warmer' to others.
2) W notes that i spent time with my kids more before the D proceedings. I had great fun doing that. I feel my kids are closer to me than before.
3) She thinks all those positives were just pretend. at least she convinced herself so.
4) I defended several accusations to which were absolutely wrong. Don't want to be accused of something which were not true.
5) W pretty upset that i have been avoiding her and not being interested in her activities. This is where i'm confused. I'm giving her space but apparently this was read wrongly. W was real peeved that I did not asked about her recent illness. I figured i'd best avoid doing that since she has rejected my offer of help and concerns previously that i really thought she wanted to be left alone. Man, did i got that wrong! that's a new grudge. gonna stick hereon.
6) brought up grudges against my mom and sis the whole time. I feel that this is never going to go away. I feel she has placed me in the same category.
7) W mentioned she should have divorce me earlier. Beginning to feel it's best to let go.

she asked me to sleep in the other room. I told her she could sleep there if she wants since i did nothing wrong.