Moving forward together from a mess

[adinva]

Hi cbt, I am glad you're working on things and getting good support. Piecing looks very challenging.

I noticed that twice someone said they really disliked your passive aggressive sarcastic text and both times you said you're working on it.

Are you taking that seriously? Did you sincerely apologize to your W for it? Or do you think, well, it's not that bad?

Imagine you slapped her across the face instead of writing a sarcastic text. Visualize the shock and pain of that. And then say well, you know you shouldn't slap her and you're working on it, you're really much better and not slapping her nearly as much as before or as much as you'd like to.

Get the picture? Verbal abuse is abuse. You didn't "teach" her anything with that text, and you didn't get her to think kindly of you, and you certainly proved her somewhat right that there would be some blowback if she were really transparent. You need to try to do better than "working on it." Just don't do it.

Sarcasm is a marriage killer, trust me.