There is always hope I hope that we will get back together, but at the moment I am just hoping that he changes his mind about the D and waits for 2 years like I've asked him to! This is where the 180 comes into play, you asked them for something, they ignore you so you show them what it's going to be like once you're divorced by limiting contact, going dark, becoming mysterious, etc. The grounds for divorce will be something like unreasonable behaviour and seeing as you've not behaved unreasonably then you probably have a strong case. R will not come as quickly as you hoped it would do. I'm expecting it to take at least a year or maybe not ever! I feel even if you think there's no hope, you have to hold a bit of hope to keep up with the PMA and stop yourself feeling hopeless. Friends will try to tell you different, but you have to ignore the bad and listen to the good.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well I just totally ruid the whole situation I made the biggest mistake in my life and now my marriage is completly over. I have no chance on saving my marriage now. I just could not let go. This will be my last posting on here.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I totally broke down and when ow called him I wanted to speak to her but he told me that he didn't want me to cause any drama and he no longer wants to be with me or fix our marriage. He loves her and he diesntvwant to looseher. she gives him everything he wants and needs like intimates and love that I didn't give to him for the last 7 years. He has a good thing going with her. And we just grew apart. I told him why couldn't he talked to me about all of this. He said cause he didn't know how to. So now with her he is more opened with her about his feelings he has learned from his mistakes with me.and no he said he doesn't want to fix our marriage he still loves me but not in lovecsuth me he liked our marriage was but there was no sex firvtge last 7 years and in a marriage you can't go that long with having sex with your spouce. That us why he is with OW now she gives him that. And now he wants me to talk to her and to tell her that our marriage is over cause she doesn't believe him that our marriage is over. And he told me if they werecto break up he still not coming back to me he said he will just be on his own. I did everything wrong here I just couldn't let go.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
But you still can let go and get things back on track. It's perfectly natural to have backslides like you had. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them. But you take each failure and learn from it and get stronger. You can do this.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I agree with MrBond. You can have backslides, I've had a few as well. When my H told me he was filing for D, I did everything they tell you not to do. I begged him, I said I still loved him, I asked him to change his mind and I said I'd changed! Now my 180 is totally back on track. Time for you to stop communicating full stop unless it happens to be about the kids and then just keep the texts short and to the point. Don't be nasty however much you feel like doing. You CAN do this!!!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
So if I can get back on track I may still have a chance even though he said that there is no way at all he will come back to me cause he is not happy with our marriage. And its completly over that have wants and loves OW.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I will try my hardest to do that we still haven't filled a dissolution yet so maybe and hopefully I still have a small chance thank you Mr bond and trying to do 180. Every time I start to have a melt down I'll just come here and let it all come out on here instead on H.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Ask anyone on here. EVERYONE's spouse has said that to them. Some have saved their M, some haven't. Either way, YOU need to rebuild YOU first. Only then can there be a chance of you getting back with him.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I hope that we will get back together, but at the moment I am just hoping that he changes his mind about the D and waits for 2 years like I've asked him to! This is where the 180 comes into play, you asked them for something, they ignore you so you show them what it's going to be like once you're divorced by limiting contact, going dark, becoming mysterious, etc.