stHelen, it seems your husband is definitely in MLC. Sandi's list of what to do/not do is helpful for this too. If you read my sitch, you'll see that my W is also in MLC. In my case, 6 months of DB-ing moved my W from imminent flight to staying with me. Yet, she is still missing that "loving feeling" for me. So we are in limbo. My point in mentioning this, is that DB-ing can help diffuse the situation.
Your husband doesn't know what he wants, so he wants to keep you available as an option. This is why he is worried about you and what you're thinking. My W was (is) the same way. I remember she told me that she was worried that I would leave her; yet she is the one that openly talked about leaving!
Also, my W ha dropped most of the motherly types of things she used to do. She would rather be single, but she also loves our children. This type of contradiction seems typical of MLC.
I suggest you be mysterious and not let him know what you're thinking/feeling. Do not ansewr the telephone everytime he calls.
As for child care, you should tell him that once/week he needs to care for the children. Whether it is for only part of the day, it will allow you some time along for GAL activities.
