I dont want to end. Too tired to continue this chess match. And its becoming easier to think about this ending. I just dont want to be with A. Someone that treats me and our kids this way. B someone that feels WE'RE keeping them from their freedom and hapiness. C Someone with such reckless regard to everyone around them but their new"friends
I have to admit that I would like to be there when/if the fog ever lifts. But at this rate ill be collecting social security.
I am already almost at the end of my rope already, and it has only been a month of DB'ing! I feel the same that my H probably resents me in some way, feeling that I am keeping him from his freedom and happiness. Perhaps that is why I keep having that guilty feeling, even though I am not doing anything wrong.
Had an ok weekend.. H was busy working away in the basement, and he got the drywall almost all put up. We even had some moments where everything felt like the old 'normal' again, and he make a few jokes. He must be feeling a little bit better. Then, AGAIN, we were watching tv and he kept on sighing. So I went over and gave him a giant hug. Then went out for a long walk.
I get the feeling that I mean nothing to him. In the past half a year, when we've gone out for social events with friends, it felt as though he did not care that I was with him at all. It makes me feel so bad, like he could care less about me being around and he is not interested in me at all. Why would I want to stay with someone like this? I feel I deserve someone who would treat me well, love me, be interested in me and want to do nice things with me and for me. I am starting to feel like chopped liver. I feel I deserve a lot more. This is why I am starting to feel so resentful....
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Highway61 I understand what you mean. Some sort of stability would be nice. Just knowing where our lives are headed. I too feel like I am in limbo and have been like that for years. And now I notice the effects on my kids. I hope it all works out for you and your family. I know it's hard but we have to try to remember there is a plan for us and if one door closes another will eventually open.
Yes! This is exactly how I feel. Being stuck in this limbo is an awful place to be. I am hoping that in a few years I will be in a happier place in my life.
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
I know that H was looking at house listings again on the internet last night...ahhhhhh. This is an awful feeling
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
Hwy, I'm very sorry for your situation. Yours sounds very similar to mine, but my BD was just a week and a half ago. My H is acting very similar to the way yours seems to be, and it is very hard "waiting around" in limbo while he can "do whatever he wants." At first, I tried to initiate ILY and intimacy, with no response and being turned down, which really hurts. He has also been looking at apartments and acting like I don't matter and every little thing I do annoys him. I have read Sandi's 37 rules and am trying to follow those now and also ordered DB, which should be here later this week. I hope the best for both of our situations.
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
Hwy61 I know the feeling. I just emailed him about meeting to talk about the finances. He agreed we needed to separate them in case either of us wants to buy something in the future. He is referring to a house. It put that awful feeling in my stomach again. The one that says what you are interpreting as signs he wants to work on the M (even though he has said he is done) are not signs. He is ready to move on without me. After almost 20 years. I feel your pain especially with our 10 year anniversary tomorrow.
We will both be in a better place in a few years. No matter what happens with our H's we need to make that our goal. Live a better life than we do today.
M12 Kids 2 ILYBINILWY 08/05 Reconciled 05/06 S07/12 Moved back 03/13 Separated Again 06/24/13 Back Again (his choice) 02/14 Leaving again 03/23/14 DIVORCED 02/15
I don't think it's about us. It's about them. I often wonder why he is so happy being away from me and his family. He is missing out on so much of the kids lives. They are self absorbed. I wish they would wake up and see what they are missing.
M12 Kids 2 ILYBINILWY 08/05 Reconciled 05/06 S07/12 Moved back 03/13 Separated Again 06/24/13 Back Again (his choice) 02/14 Leaving again 03/23/14 DIVORCED 02/15
Yes, I don't think it is about us. They are just not seeing things clearly. I too wish he would wake up and see what he is missing. I don't understand how you can be with someone for so many years and think everything is fine, and then have a bomb drop and your whole world come crashing down. I just kept thinking, this cannot be happening, I must be dreaming, because he would NEVER say these things to me!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
chl0901... sorry you are going through all of this as well. It is good that you found this forum, there is lots of good advice in here, which I wish I would have read a lot sooner than I did.
DFE..I know it will be tough for you tomorrow on your anniversary. Keep busy and have a nice day with your kids! BTW.. I have twins as well!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
