Lost, confused and trying to make a stand

[brobafet]

That's why you didn't learn anything from DB the first time. Forgiveness is a one way thing. It's a choice YOU make with no expectations of a return. Either you forgive someone or not.

Actually forgiveness isn't a one way thing (We are not God and we don't have the ability to love unconditionally). If the other party isn't held accountable for their actions they will continue to do what they are doing, i.e. being cheated on. I'm sorry that you think you have me pegged as someone that didn't do the "work" but I did, was I perfect? No, but I put in work. I did as much as I could while my W did nothing but have one foot out the door since she came back, if coming back means she did work then that is laughable. Nothing that I did warrants being cheated on.

You say you don't see how I changed? Lets see, I learned her love language and spoke it often. I made a change when it came to her family and us spending time with them. I gave her more space. I encouraged her in every aspect of what she wanted to do and encouraged her to go to college. I wasn't as clingy (and wasn't before the first time either. I did what most do on here and became more clingy when she told me she was done.) I appreciate your words but don't assume I didn't do work because I did. I did my best to better myself and became a better father and husband, things don't change over night, and when the W doesn't allow me to heal from the first offence and doesn't show remorse for what she did forgiveness isn't an easy thing. It isn't my fault that she is unfaithful and couldn't talk to me about what she was feeling. The thing is she doesn't know how to communicate and when things get tough she runs away. Do I want to save my marriage? Yes. Am I going to let her Go? Yes.