Sometimes I wonder what I'm actually trying to accept. That my H doesn't love me anymore? To be honest, I don't accept that. At all.
And you shouldn't. I don't accept that my W doesn't love me either!
I accept that he is in crisis. That he has a deep pain within himself. That he is not that man I married. That he has disappointed and hurt me in ways I never thought possible.
Right.
But I also accept that I have been loving, loyal, and kind to him even when he was more than less so to me. I accept that I have done everything to shelter my kids from all of this. I accept that I have done everything to keep our family intact, even when it was beyond painful to me.
Like UR said, this is most important! Both for us AND for our spouses. What you are doing to save your marriage is more than noble.
You know, I have given my H many chances for an out. I have told him he is free to leave if he would be happier. That I did love him enough to let him go.
Yet almost a year and a half later, here he still is. I do ask myself, why?
Because you offer comfort and stability to him during this most painful period in his life. No one else would stand by him through all this... certainly FT won't be there for long.
I really liked this post TVS. Thank you!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
