Anger popping through again. Really thinking I need to get help with this. This time W posted on FB re S school report which was v good.
Of course all the singleton W friends comment how right she was to make the decisions she has blah blah blah. I very nearly posted something along the lines of "its good to see so many people who think its great to ruin a home for a child, destroy a M and leave the LBS to pick up the pieces....and funnily enough all of them are too D with children. What good values you all have". But I resisted.
The funny thing is I spend more time with S, have kept things as settled as possible in his home here. W spends as little time as possible with him and is always looking for ways out of having him. Yet she seems to take all the credit when he gets a good report.
I am really thinking of going to having him every other weekend. I was out with friends Friday and they even commented that W has never had it so good and that I need to put my self first. If working full time and having S every weekend is preventing me from GAL properly then I need to think about it.
A neighbour stopped by for a chat with me the other day who was good friends with W but barely heard from her. Didn't even know W had left for weeks. Even the neighbour made comment at me having S every week and how am I supposed to have a life. Lets face it a future partner wouldn't relish spending every weekend with a S with special needs.
IDK, it does seem like W has vanished into fairy land without a care in the world and has her cheerleaders behind her all the way.
Rky, sorry to hear of these recent developments. It sounds like nothing you do will make things better right now, so just continue to take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to get what you need. If that means every other wk end w S, then you should do it.
Better to stand up in a constructive manner now, than continue to hold it all in and end up blowing up on W. (and her friends)
This stuff sure takes a long time, doesn't it?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I just feel like I am losing a grip at the moment. It is getting really frustrating for me that I work full time and when I am not at work look after S. She has him 3 evenings per week on a standard week so when I see FB postings that he is S is where he is because of W it makes my blood boil. He had a good report the year before as well....and it was my decision to move schools.....so I make the decision to move schools, he gets 2 excellent reports, on a quality time basis I spend more time with S than W, whilst she sits at home on her benefits (which she only gets so much because of S) and I get to hold it all together.......and somehow she is made out to be the hero mum.
All this is completely distorted and can only think what she tells her friends.
But again shows my need to detach detach detach detach before I end up a completely wreck.
It sure does take a long time FY and the way I feel at the moment I can't even bring myself to look at her.
The issue with S is that my friends are right. She has never had it so good. I have tried to keep a stable home here so that it the move etc was smooth for S. What I did not realise that at the same time W has never really had a dose of reality as a single parent. In fact she is loving it! and why wouldn't she. She gets all week to herself except for evenings, all weekends to herself and now she gets a girls holiday. I can't back down on that now but I am seriously questioning my logic for minding S whilst she goes.
It is getting really frustrating for me that I work full time and when I am not at work look after S. She has him 3 evenings per week on a standard week so when I see FB postings that S is where he is because of W it makes my blood boil.
...whilst she sits at home on her benefits (which she only gets so much because of S) and I get to hold it all together.......and somehow she is made out to be the hero mum.
It's quite understandable that you would feel this way rky, but you know what? It's not serving you or the M well at all. It's score keeping. You're better than that, and the hope is that eventually W will realize this. Find a way to let go of it. W wasn't always a deadbeat Mum, I'm guessing.
Originally Posted By: rky
Just ranting.
And you did a good job of it! I hope you feel better now.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Hi, FY sorry I didn't reply to your last post. Things were....well getting on top of me a little.
This weekend was my camping trip with a few old friends and wow did I need it. It was great and very activity based......did a 25 mile bike ride, 15 mile walk up a small mountain, archery etc etc and had a great time.
It completely sorted my head out and the timing couldn't have been better.
This is also the longest I have not seen S or W since BD. I did make contact yesterday to ask how S horse riding went. W was downbeat in her response, said horse riding was fine but she said she was late and its a long story! also said S has been great but not that well but she would fill me in when she sees me. She asked how the weekend was going and I replied great.
I did think about asking for a visit to see S before weekend as I won't see him until Saturday which will be 2 weeks since I last saw him. However, I also want to leave some distance with W. I can't call as he has no speech so maybe time to get on Skype or something!
FY - yes it was score keeping and of no benefit at all. Thanks for dropping in.
