do you ever describe my H & my feelings & my life now - it's scary when i read a post that generally fits my sitch so much - .
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I still can't believe I've been cheated on. That kind of thing happens to other people. It would never happen to me.
like you- I can't believe he's a cheater & this is my life (now).
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I think my H has become more self centered the last few years. He was never this extreme. I do think he would do just about anything for me right now, but I would have to ask.
sooo me too - what is up with this self-absorption?
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Those are the times I have a hard time keeping it light and just joking back with him, and not starting to cry.
i am busting a gut keeping it lite too - (how can he NOT KNOW HOW HURTFUL (almost everything) is- it's insane to not know every word cuts sometimes- YET maybe that's the INSANITY part of it all- their brains have (temporarily hopefully) lost some of the filters??? (makes the case for type of insanity)
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You're right, there never was a guarantee, but I sure thought I was an exception to that rule. I feel like my innocents has been ripped from me, and it makes me sad.
oh man- did you just say that? what else- me too with vengence -
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I do see the "acting upon desires before it is too late" with H. This too has been something he has said for a very long, but before it was a joke. Too much truth in jokes.
i have trouble with this one- my h also- BUT who says we all get "to have it all". which he thinks is true - he alone is "entitled" & deserving of happiness of any sort (everyone else in universe - apparently- not so much). it's soooo immature i can hardly swallow it all & not go bonkers.
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I am okay to accept that full disclosure may be a long time in the future, but I just feel like it will always be there, haunting me if it's not out in the open and laid to rest.
i need some "bottom line" on that all too. why i need to know & hear it? idk- it's less painful to just be blind - but for some reason i need to know & put a period on it. really KNOW what it was/is - if possible.
you're sounding like you have the wisdom & patience of a saint in what you're accomplishing.
i have trouble conversing when things seem "normal" too - and i can't be normal. maybe i got sloppy in speech (i think this is true) - we lost patience speakng to each other.
i am trying to tidy up my communicatin skills - a good thing.
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He has times where he is a more grown up and helpful and times he is back to teenager and oblivious.
he never wanted to put any time into his friends - just me - now he is enjoying all the friendships he/we could have been all those years (i always urged it) but seems to think he can only have "one friend" at a time- (not me btw)
it's so like kids playing - two are great - add another one- trouble & competition.
he has his "own house" (your h's room) - in FL and can't change anything (just like your h's "room" ) . has become all superficially "neat"- guards his space - freakily "tidy" - but doesn't actually clean anything (it's kinda gross) - but needs to have office-like organization.
somehow he can't adjust to living with (me) (he says or anyone) all the time!?? wtf - loss of office - BUT he chose it-
as i'm saying this - he's a child that maybe wants a bitchie mom bossng him around - i'm not much of a nagger - i'm not his mom - i think i like a "strong man" - he always WAS -
i WISH my h would talk - i'm trying hard to engage him and get him talking- he just STOPPED dead a bunch of years ago (REALLY talking) he was/is sharing his day to day life & thoughts with ow- she's sooooo exciting & mysterious (not) - oh well huh?
he said once i didn't listen- that may well be fair- idk- he's a lawyer - he grills me constantly- hard to know when i get to hear him - or ask him (he hates questions? & answering - he's said that forever!!) it's such a fine line & thin path to thread my way thru - anyway- like you in life- trying.
i get that stupid one week in four- and then , well, what you've just said- it's amazingly me.
it's slow progress- i am sad all the time and wondering if i can re-connect with this new man- if old one is "still in there" or dead -
just HAD to respond to this amazing post of yours...
xxo good luck- you're doin great it sounds like to me. hoping for best for you.
