The unexpected journey continues - next chapter II

[BRNR]

During H's childhood he felt treated differently than his sister by his immediate family and relatives. He was physically, verbally and emotionally abused. As a teenager he found out that his "dad" wasn't his biological father (sadly, this came out during an ugly fight between his parents).

Oh GM - I can empathize and am really sorry. My H has had the exact same thing happen to him, with his real Dad still unknown. I wonder if that is the crux of his crisis.

Statements H has made randomly pop into my mind and I ponder them, wanting to understand what they mean. Things I've recently remembered are from shortly after BD.

I am also right here with you. I think about things said...a lot. But I also think about how those things have changed and progressed over the months. Things went from hurtful but not evil, to evil and down right character assassination, to are you f'in kidding me. I have learned to stop thinking (somewhat) to what was said and choose to believe what I feel is true and let the rest go. At the end of the day, if you ask me, all of it is hurtful, and destroys us mentally, emotional, and physically. at least for me it did, and if I dwell in it, I will stay stuck with those feelings. And I don't want to.

I just didn't see the amount of H's brokenness. Maybe he hid it well for years, but once his mom died and then his stepfather, coupled by lots of other triggers, he just started unraveling. I didn't know what was happening.

GM, with the exception of the death. I feel this too! I didn't know what was happening. And now that it is in crisis mode, will it ever get better for our H's. I feel it is not likely...hence why moving on from the person they are now might be the reality. Just something to think about.

Take care GM. We have so many similarities in our sitches and I aspire to be as strong as you are. Know that I feel the depth of your pain, and because of the similarities in personalities and things said by H, I feel a very strong bond.

I have some things I would like to discuss...Mom to Mom. I have never PM'd on these boards, but would like to exchange email addresses if you are comfortable so we can share.

But either way GM. Keep going, taking care of the kids and you. I know you will come through this just fine once the dust settles and the divorce is final. Good luck.