Raine, As I have advised T2 and rH, this is the hardest part of the journey when they return home and continue their journey in mlc. It takes a lot of time for them to grow up. Keep in mind, that it took quite a while for them to go into mlc and it will take that much and probably a bit more for them to reverse the action and return to being mature individuals.
Yes, your h is definitely in the oven and it appears that he's still waffling from being a teenager and a man. The room says it all. Sounds like a dorm room. LOL! He's going to keep things under lock and key for a while and whatever you do, don't touch his stuff, i.e., attempt to clean up. He needs to feel like it's safe to leave things scattered all over the place. When he does begin the actual settling down and feels he is safe, the bags will be unpacked and put away. For now, they remain the way they are just in case he has to run.
You and your h started out as friends and it appears that's where you are now...friends. Keep dropping the ego kibbles and he will continue to eat them up. You are doing a good job. Keep your expectations at zero at all times and you will need to purchase a few shovels for the patience digging.
Hang in there! I think you are doing great!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
