Hoping for WAS to come home

[T1000]

When I read posts like this and then look down at the timeline and see that it's only been 2 or 3 or 4 months since BD I feel bad for that person, because they have such a long, difficult road ahead but they think they're approaching the finish line. Your W is showing signs that you are misinterpreting as a desire to reconcile when in fact it's probably the farthest thing from her mind right now. And you have expectations that it means something when it doesn't. She may be doing these things to be nice, or to keep you on the hook as plan B while she makes other plans. But regardless, it's far too soon for her to be coming out of the fog yet. So buckle yourself in for a marathon, not a sprint. And let go of those expectations!

Because of that fact that she can't see the changes besides the physical ones drives me to want to tell her but I refrain

Oh she sees them. She just doesn't acknowledge them. To her, right now all your changes just look like tricks to bring her back. It's going to be many more months yet before she starts believing the changes are there to stay, that you really are different.

She has given a couple signs to me that she's confused now and that makes it even harder not to dive into her face with relationship talk and how it can work. But I know that would only backfire.

Good, don't do that. Yes she is confused, and yes, you will see that manifest itself sometimes. But at the end of the day you are not her first choice, and you won't be for quite some time yet.

I am not a patient person and this is like torture.

I am normally not patient at all. But here is what I've learned in my sitch- you have two choices, you can be impatient and you will find yourself in separation and divorce in short order, or you can be patient and maybe with enough time find things turning around. My early impatience set me back many times. But I've learned, and am now giving my W the time and space that I -thought- I was giving her early in the sitch (when in fact I was still applying a lot of pressure). I've also learned that patience is a choice, not a trait. So choose to be patient

This is the sort of thing that should be in a sticky like Sandi2 37 rules.
There is plenty of stuff about it being a marathon and not a sprint.
Things like 2, 3 or 4 months is too short or keeping you on the hook as plan B is invaluable information especially if they aren't reading others posts or coming here a lot.
Over time I have come to see that it is a marathon no matter how the WAS is responding. Where as I initially thought it was generally a marathon to get a positive response from a WAS.