interesting turn of events.....but DON'T have any expectations. Just because W is no longer with OM, doesn't mean she will want to be with you. What you need to do at this point is keep a positive focus towards your own life and work dilligently on your 180's. Be shiny, be intersting. Be someone that would win your wifes attention. Be the husband that only a fool would leave.....as cliche' as that sounds. It holds merrit.
You did okay during your conversation with W, but you could have done so much better. I have done really bad myself, so I have made an effort to improve my interactions with wife, every time we engage each other. You did apologize and own your reponsibility. You could have done better by validating her feelings. Also, remember that when she is engaging you, listen and validate. Your feelings aren't important right now. Hers are. If she wants to vent, be a willing ear. If she tries to test you, be slipperier than a ducks back. Do not point out your opinions or correct her.
You're doing great, Steve.
In regards to the speed of the divorce, I simply had a conversation with my wife about it. It sounds like you have had a similar one with yours. So, how do you slow it down? Simply tell her that you need to think about things. Tell her, "Wife I feel this is all moving too fast for me. I am going to need some time to think things through before moving forward with any life altering decisions. I am sorry, but I just need some more time". Then, simply drag your feet. If you don't make her feel pressured, and there is no conflict that she feels she needs to avoid, she is probably not going to push extremely hard on her own. At least, I don't think she will. I am not 100% sure if that it the best way to go about it, but that is the formula I used in my sitch. So far, it is working for me. Wife and I have not had a divorce/settlement conversations in quite some time.
