MLC by MIL death/daughter car accident/new job

[Live4myDay]

Told our D "I'm happy :)" it was like a small stab in the heart. Today would have been our 24th anniversary...and he's with OW and text this our D. Too busy to call said he's talk to her tmrw.

I know GAL. DETACHMENT. Why so easy for him WAS and left i feel left with so much pain. This is crazy.

How do you detach and still love them?

[Live4myDay]

How do you handle the bashing and blame.? Making me out to be a monster. Has his family convinced I'm a cold hearted biaxch. I am far from the nasty person he made. I feel he reflects this to our kids too. And the OW is a wonderful and sincere person.

I mean he's so hurtful. And yes I ended up texting him about our wedding anniversary. I set myself back another two years. I wasn't expecting a response but he turns it around. I keep thinking at least maybe he'd be nice to me. Like yeah that was a nice memory or day or not even relying.

But he has to turn all nasty on me. I don't understand how someone can be so involved in a persons life then turn on them. Completely walk out.

And to not even go back n forth on his decision. Not a MLC. He's a WAS that isn't looking back. Very hard and words hurt. Can we ever have relationship?

Can we ever get to a point where we can become friends again? Or will it always be on his terms?

[Live4myDay]

Just journaling. Been reading PowerOfNow posts. I feel like I know him now. I keep reading and reading. Like a good book I can't put down. I want to know what happens.

All the advise is out there on the table. It's amazing how peoples lives can mirror others.

I have taken a whole new look at my sitch. Honestly, I can say that I have more understanding why he left, but then I think he was the LBS and I DID come around full circle within months not years! The accident definitely through me out of MLC yet I never asked to leave or said I was unhappy, IDLYA, etc. But he being the LBS then changed and wouldn't come back.

Will he? I think he liked the changes he made to himself. But at the same time OW came into his life. She was there all along and sorta put herself out there availble to him. Anyway, I don't blame her, never have.

Just thinking out loud. I return home next weekend with my D for small trip home to visit relatives and my D to be with friends she's been missing.

So much has happened over 4th July weekend with XH. I don't want to get into it yet. But I tried not to let it ruin my visit with my sister. Had a breakdown, always do with her. She just can't get over that I still cry and hurt. Detachment. Yes.

I find myself saying "I'm ok. I'm free now. WHO CARES what he's doing or planning or who with..." Feeling better already. I hope the trip home doesn't trip me up. I know he'll be around for my D. I just stay away. I have plans of my own with friends.

Anyway, any thoughts fill me in.

[Live4myDay]

UPDATE: Detaching Detaching Detaching...breathe and let it go.

I realize he's never coming back...I will focus on me and my NEW life and continue to pray good things for him.

Patience...we'll see. Working on GAL, 180's PMA's etc. Don't know where this is going to lead.

I want something more than him with OW...if it was MLC, I would be here to help him through it. He is NOT a MLC... he is a WAS. Acceptance is half the battle.

Now focus on ME... I've been waking up looking in mirror with a gift waiting for me to open...it's my new life.

Gonna send this thread over to the Surviving the Big D...maybe I can get some chats there.