Going In Circles

[shouldistillhope]

Advina,

I know your right. I know you have more wisdom through these difficult experiences than i have, but i hope to someday gain the wisdom and knowledge that only time will provide.

I think to myself some days that i am getting pretty good at all this, then i have those moments of self doubt washing over me and i realize i have a long way to go.

I feel like i am trying to convince myself that she is the one that is wrong only to realize each time i reflect upon this that it is because of my own stubborn faults that we are in the mess i have created.

I can look to the past and see vividly the times i have caused her pain by choosing to ignore her feelings or by not valuing her opinion on certain things.

If i continue to place blame on her, i don't feel as though i will make any progress on myself because it prevents me from getting myself better. Something i have to do in order to even have a chance with her post D.

Its very hard to admit ones own faults, but i think its time i did and make an effort to correct them.

I keep asking God to see me through all this, but i think he is telling me that he will be there for me as long as i am willing to put forth the effort.

Thanks again Advina and everyone who stops by to offer support.

I guess i am not as far along as i thought.