Hello! 20 year marriage teetering... (part IV)

[AnotherStander]

Well it's been a couple of weeks since the last post, W has still not pushed forward with D. We're still getting along fine when we see each other which is usually just once or twice a week. When we talk it's just "friendly neighbor" kind of stuff.

The biggest news I have is we added a new member to the family, a little 1 pound 2 ounce puppy I'm still reeling from it, can't figure out how my kids talked me into it, LOL! It's kind of a long story, but I took S10, D16 and two of her friends to this monthly giant market and W ended up taking D18 and one of her friends separately. After saying "no" to the kids several times they finally managed to find a puppy I had trouble saying "no" to. I called W and she had just gotten there, so we met up to discuss the pup and so she and D18 could see it. Turns out suspected OM was with them, so there was an odd "oh you're here!" kind of moment when we met up. BTW, I still don't know what's up with S-OM, I don't push for info from W or the kids so I have no idea if there's something going on or if they really are just friends as W claimed in the past. Anyway, the kids said they would take care of the pup during it's training period, but since they're at W's house every other week I wanted to make sure she was OK with it. She gave the go-ahead so we went home with the little guy. He's a long-haired mini doxy like our other one. He's heavily dappled and has blue eyes and is totally adorable! Our other one is also a long-haired mini and they've been getting along well so far

I think it was just before your Retro and I was thinking wow he and his wife came a long way. Then Retro and W got confused again .. and you seemed you were done and a lot of people (including me!) kind of started attacking you "Are you sure you are done? She's still confused!"

Yeah, I think I was even more confused than she was, but it took me a while to figure that out. Looking back I can see I was being too pushy with her, when she opened the door a crack to reconciling I just wanted to kick the thing in or maybe blast it open with 10 pounds of plastic explosives, LOL! I overreacted and it just shut her down again. Lesson learned! Not sure there will ever be another opportunity but if there is I will let her drive the pace.

I see why a lot of DBers worship you. Everyone on this board trying to be a spouse only a fool leave, well I think you already are the spouse

I really appreciate that But the more I DB the more I realize how much of a work-in-progress I really am

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't your LL gift giving and wasn't the cause of a big fight leading up to BD was something to do with it?

Good memory! Yeah, I always placed a high importance on giving and receiving gifts. When W asked me what I wanted that year I told her not to worry about it, which was a dance we performed every birthday and Christmas. Me- don't get me anything, I already have everything. Her- Oh come on, there's got to be something! Me- well I don't know, let me think. Etc. Only that time she didn't dance, she really didn't get me anything!

If so this gesture must have been a very unexpected wonderful surprise for you! Made-to-order mugs and a special cookie? I'd call those very thoughtful gifts!!!

Exactly, it was a very nice and totally unexpected gesture. I'm not assuming it means anything, but it was really kind of her!

I always look forward to your posts. SO glad your doing well. If you could send some of your strength through the computer I would gladly take it

Thank you, I do pray for you and others here for whatever that's worth I figure even if some aren't believers then maybe they'll still get some good karma out of it

AS,

I hope you are doing well. Your posts - like this one - give me hope in a new kind of way. Thanks for all your help.

-PM

Thank you, I still hope reconciliation is in the future, but if it isn't I think I've found a place where I can be at peace with my sitch and with my W no matter what happens. It wasn't that long ago that I wouldn't have thought it possible!