Going In Circles

[shouldistillhope]

So i guess i have decided against sending her any type of letter or trying to have a talk with her to find out if this is really the case in regards to whether or not she is embarrassed or somehow disappointed in me because of my career choice. I figure that by me not mentioning anything to her about it, she can then deal with whatever demons she has created out of me.

I guess i thought maybe i was more detached than what i am, but i think about her everyday, and i am having a hard time thinking about her dating after our divorce is final. I am not sure what is causing these feelings. It is getting to the point where our sitch seems to be all i can think about. I try to do other things to keep my mind busy, but that only seems to work for a while and then i am right back to the crap again.

I don't socialize much with any co-workers because i am in an area where i work alone, and the few co-workers who know about my sitch just tell me things like "she isn't worth it anyway, you need to get rid of her. It is for the best."

I don't say anything when they say things like this because i still have deep feelings of love for her.

GAL seems to be much easier when i have my kids, so starting Tuesday night i have them for 5 days in a row.

That will be nice for me and them.