You have nothing to lose by letting her go, b/c she has already left.
DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!
Truly the best advice I've read. Well said, 25!
Still catching up but wanted to say that I let go about two days ago after a long frank, very calm ( yay me) conversation with H.
We had been together a lot, hanging out. He slept here, held my hand, we flirted then bam! His thing was " I wanted to see if I had any romantic feelings for you when we ML'd and I don't so this will never work. Besides I want to see if R with ex GF can go anywhere and I can't do it with you in my life".
Okay, I am paraphrasing a bit, because he comes off as a " rhymes with mastard" and he is truly not.
So, I give him what he wants. If he remembers all the good times and how we connect on all levels and misses me it is his move.
If he doesn't, then that is okay too.
I still care and love him and told him that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Then I walked out and let go.
My feelings have not changed and sure, I am scared too of losing him, but it had to be done.
What the gist of this is, you could say what you have to say, that is, " I love you but we are clearly not ready to be back together" or something like that. That way you won't have to worry about your LC being perceived as not wanting her.
H knows exactly how I feel and I know how he thinks he feels
