It's amazing how simple it can be to effectively meet someone's needs when one knows what they are. It seems that you have spelled out your needs, and unless I'm missing something, they seem like the needs that most women would have. Unfortunately, simple or not, meeting someone's needs still requires both thought and action. It sounds like he wants to guilt/shame/force you into staying the wife you were for the first 17 years of your marriage rather than change. He has an outdated picture of what a marriage is. He does not see that marriage is a partnership, where you both have equal voices and decisions are made so that you are both happy. He wants to go back to where he makes himself happy, and you're just happy to be there basking in and facilitating his happiness .
I wonder what he would say he brings to the table in your (or any) marriage besides a paycheck?
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