Did a fairly decent job of keeping self and S busy this weekend - despite the fact that it was the better part of 118 degrees outside. We went to our first movie together (I thought it was his first one, but he said mama took him before). Took him to get a haircut - he has big ol' curls that are not conducive to the immense heat! We went for milk shakes, attempted to take naps, and watched a movie at home. Sunday we got up, met a friend for breakfast, went clothes shopping for him with said friend, stopped for yogurt, stooped at the apple store (his choice), had dinner and watched another movie in air conditioned bliss. We literally didn't spend a minute apart I think. Little guy even fell asleep on me last night. I cherish those moments because I know they will not last forever. Not exactly like I had envisioned them, but I gotta take what I can.
To that end, I was very "out of contact" with ex over the weekend. I did not reach out at all. Midway through the day on Saturday she texted me asking for a picture of S. In the same message she told me I should look into this one science about personality types - she said that she took a class on it at the church we attend and that she could guess which "type" I was. I let SEVERAL hours pass before I responded and remained brief and positive.
Same thig basically happened on Sunday. Late in the day she texted me and asked how S was doing. I waited an hour or two before I responded. I was friendly and just told her that he was doing well and that we had a very full day. She said that she was "ready to see him" tomorrow (today) - I didn't respond after that. I think it is very evident that she misses him as much as I do when he is away. I won't go into how that just makes my head spin, but I'm sure you all get it.
I don't know if I did the right thing in waiting a long time to respond, or if I should just not respond at all. I certainly didn't over-share in my responses - but I can see where remaining 100% silent would be the right thing to do as well. Knowing the historic dynamic our relationship - I know that ignoring ALWAYS sends the message that I am p*ssed and trying to punish. I am trying to balance that against remaining friendly, upbeat and positive. It's a tough thing to do - but I think maybe limited, brief (delayed) responses and no initiating works for the moment.
I dropped him off with her this morning and will pick him up after work. It was a friendly exchange and I made a point not to linger. Had a few brief words with XW about S, gave him a hug and a kiss and was on my way. XW looks like she is dropping weight again - probably from the stress like last time.
For sure still hard to see her. It brings up a bunch of emotions but I am learning to contain them.
