Going In Circles

[shouldistillhope]

Advina,

Thanks, and i guess all along i still feel the need to find answers. I feel like i need to defend myself with our friends with the lies and the urge to defend and write a letter is keeping me from truly detaching. I just can't get over the fact that all the years i have supported her, and now she is in a better position than me financially and this is how she chooses to deal with problems in our marriage.

It is like everything i have come to believe in is now garbage. I know i shouldn't let it affect me, but the worst part is, i am human and am having a hard time coming to terms with all this.

How can she say that if i want to remain friends, that i will leave at that moment? She has been pushing all along to remain friends, but now it comes with stipulations attached i guess.

She always said that 6 months down the road if she sees true changes in me then maybe we can start dating. If i get a great new job (according to her standards) and then she wants to start dating again, i guess i will know the real reason for all this.

I know this isn't the only reason but to hear that stings. It hurts my pride to think that she doesn't feel i am good enough for her anymore.