That all sounds really really hard to deal with. One thing that popped out for me was that you seem to be really hoping and expecting for your W to be happy or impressed or otherwise favorable with your hard work. Give that up and stop tormenting yourself. She is not in a place right now to empathize with your hard work and good effort. Don't even look there for that.
If you can get to that mindset, and replay her pi$sy entrance and exit from your house, you would have thought to yourself, huh she seems to be making herself angry over something. You didn't need to go ask her what she was mad about. Once you found out what she was mad about you didn't need to accept that as anything but her unfortunate reality.
Your defense, and your letter, aren't going to change her right now. I think you did very well to explain what you got done and why you didn't finish, but you let her get to you and you don't need to do that to yourself.
This is what detachment is made for. It is where you should try to get.
What answers are you thinking you'll get from leaving a letter in her car? Can you anticipate that you're not going to like how she takes that sideways and finds a way to not only not give you your answers but also make you feel mad and sad?
I would suggest putting blinders on and getting what you need done done, with grace and good attitude, and ignore any spew you get from her. Spew is very common from WASs and you'll see it in many threads here, and DBers are always advised not to listen to it. I hope you can try to detach from it, so you don't feel worse than you need to while this is going on. Your feeling worse doesn't have any effect on the outcome positive or negative. Protect yourself from it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
