I don't believe he's content to live in a loveless M.
My husband is a salesman, not by trade but by personality. We talked about EVERYTHING before we M'd. My H had all the right answers for everything. (In fact, I think he would be really good at speaking at M seminars, as long as he didn't need any personal references.) He will promise the sun, moon, and stars to get you to buy in. He was M'd before, so he told me all the things he learned from his first failed M, like "If you have a problem, then WE have a problem. You need to tell me if you have a problem."
Of course, I brought my own dysfunction to the M, primarily co-dependency. So it took be a while to realize how warped the R was. As I've gotten better, I've gotten less and less accepting of his approach (that the R is all about him.) I wouldn't say he's content to live in a loveless M. He tries very hard to get what he used to have, using criticism, guilt, judgment, anger, pouting, etc. It just doesn't work on me anymore.
He's an alright roommate. He just doesn't have the qualities I need in a H.
I just had an epiphany.... I've always described him as a salesman, but salesmen eventually deliver even if they've embellished it. I think, rather, H is actually a con-man.
